


With Ghosts For Memories

by Lilly_C



Series: Prompt in a Box [38]
Category: Taggart (TV)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Canon Related, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Community: prompt_in_a_box, Episode Tag, F/M, Family Secrets, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Inspired by Music, Late Night Conversations, Late at Night, One Shot, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-03 14:24:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1071511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilly_C/pseuds/Lilly_C
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night in the cage brought back some painful memories for Robbie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With Ghosts For Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Written for prompt in a box, prompt was A character finds out a dark secret; it is one of my unused prompts.
> 
> Spoiler for Do Or Die. Set at the end of the episode and deals with the aftermath of Robbie’s voluntary stint in the cage while he was undercover at the army barracks.
> 
> The title is a line from Asleep At The Wheel, an old Something For Kate song ([vid](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPDUxAWQmA)).
> 
> Any mistakes are my own and unintentional.

_'Cause this is how I come and go/ With ghosts for memories and memories for ghosts/ But no-one says/ No-one says/ No-one/ Where did everybody go?/ And would anybody tell me if there’s something I should know?/ But no-one says anything  
Asleep At The Wheel by Something For Kate_

~

Jackie had been watching Robbie on and off for a couple of hours since they'd been home, his affect was worrying her because he usually had something to say after a particularly tough case, this time he didn't and his silence was always a sign that there was something significant troubling him.

“You're quiet tonight, Rob.”

Upon hearing her comment, a half-hearted smile formed on his lips. “Sorry, just thinking.”

“About what?” she asked, worrying as the pain began to show on his features and the look in his eyes became more distant.

Swallowing a sob, Robbie answered, “Nothing in particular.”

“Robbie,” Jackie said in the tone that usually got him talking, especially when he didn't want to.

“My dad and I wish I wasn't.”

“Why? What happened?”

“When I was undercover at the barracks I took Fowler's place in the cage and spent the night in there, it brought back some bad memories.”

“What's the cage?” Jackie asked, knowing that this was something he had purposefully omitted from his report for the Procurator Fiscal.

“It was solitary confinement, Kent's idea of toughening the cadets up. It's a small brick building in the middle of woods and there is a small space inside it with iron bars either side and once the gate is locked, you're alone with only the noises of the woods and your own thoughts for company.” Letting out a soft sigh Robbie continued, “During the night I started having flashbacks to some of the things that my dad did to me and mum when I was little.”

“That's a form of psychological abuse not a way toughening someone up.” Tenderly rubbing his back, Jackie said, “Tell me about your dad, you've never mentioned him.”

“I can't, it's too hard.”

Knowing that he was hesitating opening up to her about events that he had never revealed to anyone before, Jackie changed her approach to get him to talk. “Robbie, it's only hard for you because you've never talked about it. You can't hold on to the anger and guilt forever, it isn't healthy.”

Robbie glanced at Jackie for a moment before speaking. “Promise me that nothing I tell you goes beyond these four walls.”

Trying to curb her frustration at his words, Jackie said, “All of the things that we've told each other over the years, I’ve never said a word to anyone. I'm not about to start now, Rob, you're my best friend and you're hurting and I want to help you.”

“I'm not sure where to start,” Robbie admitted as he realised that the weight of his long held onto anger and guilt were things that he didn't have to be ashamed of. “One afternoon when I was about two or three my dad was in a bad mood and he took it out on me because mum wasn't at home. I don't what I did but he decided he'd had enough of me playing with my toys and locked me in the cellar and left me down there with no light and nothing to eat and drink. I didn't like the dark and I wanted to shout and scream but I couldn't because I was so frightened about what he'd do to me if I made a sound.”

Drawing him into a protective embrace, Jackie decided to let Robbie continue with the cathartic process.

“I don't know how long I was locked in the cellar for but when mum came home, she came down to get me out and when she took me upstairs, the street lights were shining in through the kitchen window.”

Just hearing about one of the many dark secrets from his childhood made Jackie want to protect him more than she already did. She knew that he'd had a fairly tough upbringing, one that was much tougher than her own but until this evening she hadn't realised the full extent of it.

“After your mum got you out of the cellar, what did she do?”

“Mum gave me a drink of juice and a cheese sandwich.” Robbie shook his head as the seemingly insignificant details of his ordeal surfaced. “Then when I’d finished she took me upstairs and helped me change into my pyjamas and then she told me a story once I was in bed. That night, like so many others that were just like it, she slept near the door in my bedroom so that she could stop dad if came in during the night.”

Feeling the bile rising in her throat at her own question, Jackie started, “Did he ever…. your dad? Did he?” This was a standard question that she'd asked countless times to victims of abuse that she'd met over the years that she'd being a police officer, yet she was struggling to ask her best friend. “Was the abuse ever sexual?” heaving a sigh as the words finally escaped her lips, she waited a few moments for Robbie to fully digest the query.

Shaking his head, using the side of his thumbs to stop the freely flowing tears, Robbie choked a sob. “No, it was never sexual and I don't think he ever did anything like that to mum. The abuse was mostly emotional and sometimes physical.”

Attempting and failing to mask her relief at his answer, Jackie held him tighter, continually caressing his back as he cried over things that he hadn't thought about for a long time. Seeing and feeling Robbie breakdown in her arms like this made her want to find and meet his dad and to give him a piece of her mind, and maybe a well deserved slap, for making his son hurt like this over thing that weren't his fault.

“Obviously, you haven't seen your dad for years but what about your mum?”

Robbie pulled away a little while maintaining the close and welcome contact. “My mum lives in Aberdeen. We moved there when I was about four or five and she settled but I started getting restless when I was fifteen so I moved back to Glasgow and lived with my granddad while I finished school.”

“Do you see her much?”

“I see her whenever I get the time and I usually drive up when I know that I’ve got a few days off.”

For several minutes Robbie remained in Jackie embrace, he shyly asked, “Can I stay here tonight?”

“Yeah of course, you know that you don't have to ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> The way Robbie looked frightened and was shouting “that bastard” during the night got me thinking about the other people, besides Sergeant Kent, that he could have been referring to, and yes, I am aware that the revelations about his father being abusive didn’t occur in canon until Safer, however, I do believe that he told Jackie about the abuse, off-screen at least, at an earlier point than that episode and Do Or Die felt like the right time for the conversation to happen.
> 
> The prompt I used for this fic is from 2013 and there is no way to use it within the rules of the challenge now, however I will still be getting through [my list](http://alittleimprobable.dreamwidth.org/136952.html) of remaining unused prompts from time to time.


End file.
